When people say that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else; what they’re really saying is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Picture how you feel about yourself being in a cup. When you are full of love, joy, self care, compassion, happiness, self worth and understanding – your cup runneth over in a good way and you have important qualities inside of YOU that you can pour into the next person you decide to be in a relationship with. However, when you lack loving who you are, when you aren’t proud of yourself, when you don’t value yourself or when you are “looking for someone to complete you;” you can’t really give too much to someone else in a relationship because you don’t have much to pour from.
What I’ve learned is that I had to love the person looking back at me in the mirror first before I could fall madly and deeply in love with someone else. That took me some time. I didn’t know I wasn’t ready – outside of the relationships that didn’t work (for whatever reasons) I just continued to plow through and “fall” in love for all the wrong reasons. When I stopped – literally stopped dating and focused on loving me did I realize that I was loving the wrong people. Granted they may have been well intended but it never was going to work because I was missing a key ingredient. Love of self. When I truly started to love myself, bad relationships fell to the wayside. I was “happy, vibrant and beyond ok” with being single until the right person came along. The thing is, I’m not quite sure if I would have been able to discern who the right man was if I didn’t find the time to love me for me – warts and all.
So, work on filling your cup first with the goodness and wonderfulness that is all about you. Love yourself – unconditionally. When your cup runneth over you’ll be ready for sharing with the right person. Not only will you be able to recognize the right person but you will see that your cup will be filled too because they will have something to give you as well.