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Tempering Your Expectations of Others

RM_140515_2243Disappointment. Ugh. Something that I use to feel….a lot. I had to ask myself this question many, many times “why am I disappointed so much?” The answer wasn’t in the people that disappointed me. The answer was in how I had expectations of people. It was my expectations that led to disappointment. This was especially true in my relationships with others.

Over time (this was not a quick fix) I learned to temper my expectations of other people. And when I did low and behold, my frustration and disappointment reduced significantly. How did I do that?

First, I stopped expecting people to agree with me. Yup, I cut that out. But I also helped people understand that I don’t have to agree with them either =)  I deserve to be happy and live a life that I am excited about. I forgot about that. I was letting the opinions of others dictate my life. I forgot the salient point – I deserve to be happy. Which means, I am not in this world to live up to the expectations of others. And quite as it’s not kept, they are not here to live up to mine.  When I truly started to remember that point, my “disappointments” started to fall to the wayside.

This newfound insight helped me dare to be myself and follow my intuition. I stopped comparing myself to others. When I stopped comparing myself to others my focus was on my own path and purpose. Success was not far behind.

Second, I realized that people were not going to respect me more than I respect myself. Not more to say about this one.

Lastly, I stopped expecting and needing people to like me. Due to my childhood experience, having approval has always been a big thing for me. Having to perform in order to get love from my parents laid the ground work for me being an adult who needed people to like me in order for me to feel worthy.  This is something I am still working on today. I remind myself that there is always going to be someone who criticizes me – no matter how good I am. And when I come across those individuals I need to ignore them, not take their jabs to heart and move on.

We live in a world that’s focused on making everyone the same, so the toughest battle you will ever have to fight is the one to be YOURSELF. And remember, when you fight back to stand up and be you not everyone is going to like you. And that is totally OK. I am glad that I’m “different.” Because what makes me different are the things that make me ME. And I’m cool with that. Especially since the right people in my life will love me for it. And the others? Well, they can just go pound sand.

 


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