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Let Go Or Be Dragged

This is a good one. There are some things that you just need to let go of. I learned this lesson the hard way. Some things were just hard for me let go. The biggest one was family. Totally not a Rockwell experience. You can say that I “survived” my family experience. What I had to learn is that my family did the best that they knew how, however, that best was wrought with emotional and physical abuse. What I learned to accept is not to take it personally. They just didn’t know any better. What I learned is that they loved me – conditionally. That’s a trip and a half if you think about it. Being a kid and everything had conditions on it. I had to unlearn that type of love. Took me awhile. I learned to let that one go because I always knew that I wanted something more than that. I knew that I was more that “what I could do for you.” I knew that I was worthy of unconditional love. I didn’t know what that was until I met Jack. Without conditions he loves me. When I was sick he was there. Right there in the hospital, for every test and surgery. He didn’t blink an eye. He “showed me” what unconditional love means. It was an “ah ha” moment for me. This is what I was missing from my life. When someone loves you unconditionally – regardless.

I recognized what I had been missing. For years I wondered what was “wrong with me” that my family and men that I thought I loved didn’t love me back. Well, I learned a couple of things. First off, I am worthy of unconditional love. Second, that these people/men/family loved me the way they knew how. Granted it wasn’t the love that I needed or deserved but it was what “they knew how to do.” Can’t fault them for that but at the same time I no longer am going to settle for scraps of love. It took me awhile to get to the point where I am emotionally healthy enough to say “I deserve more” and not be afraid.

So this post is all about having the strength to let go of what doesn’t suit you. Let go or as the saying says…be dragged.


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