I was in a relationship with a man whose words did not match his actions. And for a long time I was confused, unhappy and unfulfilled in my “relationship” with him. UNTIL one day I stopped asking the question why and just looked at the way he treated me. There were hundreds and thousands of I love yous and herculean efforts of reconciliation after I would get angry at him. But his ACTIONS did not change. Now, as I type this I can hear you saying “girl, you should have known better!” Well, there were a couple of things going on. First, I didn’t believe I deserved more than the scraps and empty promises he was dishing out and second, I didn’t listen to him when he treated me poorly. You see, people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. For me I had believe that I deserved better and when I did I woke up and realized that his words didn’t match his actions.
So, believe people the first time when they show you how they feel about you. Do not give them 3, 4, 5….29 times of treating you poorly. Nip it in the bud quickly. They either change the way they treat you or you decide you won’t be treated poorly and leave. Here’s the thing it takes more strength to leave an unfulfilling relationship than staying. It’s easy to stay. But why would you? Why would you stay with someone who is treating you less than the Queen that you are? I am not saying that a man needs genuflect every time you enter a room but you know the difference between a man who cherishes you and one who doesn’t. One who wants the best for you. One who calls you on your stuff but does it in a way that doesn’t tear you down in the process. The man that would give you his all. Who adores you with or without makeup or up a dress size. The man that calls when he says he’s going to call and shows up when planned. The man who works hard every day but still makes time to spend time with you. A man who makes you and your relationship his priority. Where there is no question about your relationship and he doesn’t make you question your role in it either.
You see, believe how people treat you the first time. Don’t make excuses for their mis-behavior. Believe them. If you are not being treated like the priceless diamond that you are – it’s time to bounce.