I loved Chance. And I can say without hesitation he loved me unconditionally.
I loved him the way I loved no other being. When he passed I was beyond distraught, I was inconsolable. I cried like I never cried before in my life. The tears just poured out of me and there were times when I would just sit and weep.
He is missed everyday but grief has taught me something. Grief has shown me that I really loved. Grief has taught me about love. Yes, I miss him and I wish he was here snuggled under my desk as I type this blog entry. But at the same time my heart was opened wide to another being and that never happened before.
I’ve written about my lack of family and I am not going to rehash that point. I felt for the longest time that I was unlovable because my own family couldn’t/wouldn’t love me. But another lesson I learned through the loss of Chance is that I realized that my family loves me the way they knew/know how to love me. The loss of Chance opened my eyes to a lot and his passing gave me the biggest gift. Everyday when he snuggled his nose to my face or jumped on the couch and laid on me, he showed me everyday that I was lovable and what love feels like. And that my friends is the best gift my best friend could have ever given me. The knowingness that I am loved and being loved.