It’s been awhile since I’ve written. Lots going on in my life right now. Not sure where to start. First off I’m missing my dog every day. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about him. From hearing another dog bark or a shadow cast in the apartment catches my eye. I know that I don’t have to go far. He’s always with me in my heart. But boy oh boy I could sure use a Chance hug right about now.
Read a quote from Bob Marley that said “you don’t know how strong you can be until you have to be.” And he’s right. It appears when one is down, emotional vampires come out in full force. What’s an emotional vampire? This is a person or people who literally suck your energy. I always tell people to “listen” to their bodies when they interact with people. Do you feel tired, drained? You were just in the presence of an emotional vampire. The super malignant ones leave you feeling that you are unworthy or that something is wrong with you. Got a few of those people in your life?
I’ve worked really hard at distancing myself from the emotional vampires in my life. These people just happen to be the family that I was born…well hatched into. Most families have a “glue” that bonds them to one another. But sad to say my situation is not like that. There is no glue. No bond. We are just people that lived under the same roof for a set amount of time and escaped as soon as possible. The dysfunction that surrounded my family unit, I can say is not as bad as most out there but it was bad enough for me. From domestic violence, alcoholism, physical abuse, resentment to jealousy. All in the name of love and family. Phew. By the time I was getting out of high school I couldn’t get far enough away from the craziness.
Hey it could’ve been worse right? Well, for me I learned that I had to leave the dysfunction of my family behind in order to live. It’s a hard decision to make. Some people can’t find it in themselves to speak out. They don’t want to be seen as difficult. Or worse, maligned for breaking free of the dysfunction in order to live. But for me I had to do it to emotionally survive and live to become the best person that I could be and in the end be just me.
What I learned from this is family is not the one that you were born into it’s the one you make. I have a group of people in my life that have been there for me at my highest times and my lowest times and still loves me. To me that’s what family is all about. So, think about that the next time you come across an emotional vampire that may be a “family” member. It’s not always about what you were born into its about who “got you” regardless.