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Disappointment

Phew…a word that I have an intimate relationship with. For a very long time I was walking around with a dust cloud over my head of whoa. A mother who fundamentally has no idea what it means to be non-judgemental, loving, emotionally supportive or nurturing. A father who disappeared and abandoned me at the age of 15. The longing for an accepting family. These are just a few of the disappointments that weighed me down for awhile until….

I realized that there are just some things that I can not change. Several of them have to do with people’s behavior and some has to do with the situation. Today, I understand that people are limited in their emotional capabilities. Therefore, the disappointment I feel requires deeper introspection. Am I disappointed about the person, the situation or is it because the person is not behaving in a way that I believe they need to behave? When it comes down to it; looking at the bigger picture of things really makes it easier to not take things so damn personally which leads to disappointment.

Once I started looking at things from a big picture view, I began to realize that everything happens for a reason – whether I like those reasons or not. With accepting that “shit happens” I am in control of MY EMOTIONS, BEHAVIORS and ACTIONS.

Today, there are no more disappointments just challenges that continue to provide me with an opportunity to grow, develop and move forward. Those clouds of disappointment are long gone and I no longer allow them to weigh me down. Each day I am provided an opportunity to continue to see the big picture and GROW!



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