As many of you know I have not had the best relationship (I’m being kind) with my Mother. I tried, tried, tried, tried, tried, tried and tried again and then reached the point where I said “ENOUGH I’m done!” Mother’s Day is a hard holiday, who am I kidding. Everyday is hard when you don’t have your Mother. That person who you loves you unconditionally (in actions and words). Wants the best for you. Is the person who always has your back when you’re dealing with all types of shit in the front. Your ride or die chick. Your best friend, your confidant, your cheerleader. Your Mom.
So, here it goes.
Where do I even begin? It’s been awhile. Who am I kidding its been over 7 years and it doesn’t get any easier. You are my Mother and how I wish that you could see me for the woman I am today. Successful, happy, confident, independent. I may not be the prettiest girl you wanted or the smartest. I think you may think that I still look too much like Daddy even after the plastic surgery you made me have at 14. Still, I love you because you are my Mom. Now that I am 41 years old with a family of my own (Chance, your grand-dog) I realize how ferocious a love a parent has for their child. I love Chance; he’s opened my heart to a love so deep that I couldn’t even fathom what I could have done as a child that you couldn’t love me. Everyone goes thru all types of stuff growing up and I don’t know what your childhood was like. But, know this. You will always be my Mom. I thank you for giving me life and showing me how to work hard and never giving up. To fight for what I want and to care for those who are in need and to love as well as fear God. Thank you for putting a roof over my head as a child. Thank you for giving me opportunities like going to private school. Thank you for putting food on the table, clothes on my back and shoes on my feet. Thank you for teaching me that no one is going to GIVE me anything in life; if I want it I will have to work hard and fight for it. Thank you for teaching me how to clean a house and make eggplant parmigiana. Thank you for requiring nothing but As if I wanted to live in your house. Thank you for a lot of things. It doesn’t matter how old I get..know, that I will never call you by your first name. You will always be Mom, my Mom. So, as Mother’s Day approaches know that I miss having my Mom in my life. And maybe God is still working on you as well as me. I’m never going to say never. I am going to lay this on God’s table so that he can work out in me or in you or in both of us whatever is needed to get to “someday.” Hope you are happy and healthy. Happy Mother’s Day.